Glee, how could you?

You know what really gets under my skin? Once good TV shows that are now so crass in their quest for ratings, so overtly milking the political "causes" du jour, they basically turn said causes into a farce.

Glee is one such TV program, and was rewarded for its overt pandering at the recent Golden Globe awards. 

Chris Colfer, who portrays a gay student on the show, was awarded the Best Actor in a Supporting Role award. Chris was up against far superior competition but I have a sneaking suspicion the Hollywood Foreign Press also wants to be seen as politically correct. 

You see, in the current season of Glee, Colfer's character gets bullied by a secretly gay jock. Sound familiar? I'm sure you're all aware of the spate of suicides of gay teens last fall due to bullying, and the strong media backlash. 

I'm all for raising awareness of such an important issue. I am not, however, in favor of said "hot" issue being exploited to make a buck, and frankly, being portrayed by Colfer in such a poor manner, as a whiny victim for whom it is very difficult to have any sympathy.

I am by no means belittling the truly devastating effects of bullying. It is a real issue and it needs to stop. So does discrimination based on sexual orientation. These are fear-based behaviours, fueled by completely irrational beliefs, and they should remain at the forefront of our collective consciousness as long as necessary.

I'm sure Glee producers see themselves as the defenders of the ever popular message: "Be who you are, and don't be ashamed of it". At its root, this is a very positive message. 

Unfortunately, Glee, especially where Colfer's story line is concerned, falls into the basest "Movie of the Week" stereotypes about bullies and the bullied, and assumes its young audience has the intellectual quotient of a vegetable. 

Glee has managed to pander on many levels in its second season; each episode, with rare exceptions, sullied by a distasteful undercurrent of obvious exploitation.

What the f*ck was I thinking?

So, those were some pretty bold declarations in my last post, and I find myself humbled by the loftiness of my 2011 objectives. Mostly because, at this very moment, I feel like the kid who didn't get invited to the party, like a bit of an outsider. Yep, I'm stuck on wanting attention and being popular. Back to square one. Craving the validation of my peers, and being hurt by its absence. 

I could continue to rant on the reasons why I think I'm all that and the world should act accordingly, but what good would that do? No, I'm trying desperately to resist having a pity party although, given my current emotional state, I'm failing. I'm stuck on numbers people. This deprogramming project I've so wantonly handed myself over to this year is not easy, and not going so well today. 

It sucks feeling like you're on the fringes, somewhat invisible. I'd like to say I don't really care and it doesn't really bother me but it does. Some things seem so easy, effortless for others but not for me. It's like there's some kind of obscure language I can't decipher. I'm trying desperately to unearth the secret but can never quite find it. 

But hey, a lofty goal must be lofty because it's not easy to attain, because it requires some serious self-examination and letting go of deeply ingrained beliefs. 

So, perhaps today is not so much a failure as it is a cultivating of consciousness, a budding awareness of where the starting point is, of where surrender must take place.  

Deconstructing a North American education

My goal in 2011 is to deconstruct everything I learned in school about what "success" consists of; to subtract my ego from the equation - no small feat. But I figure it's that or keep torturing myself over my perceived lack of "outward" successes. 

I will willingly give myself over to what my life coach calls "death moments", meaning death of the ego, where I'm not the centre of attention nor will I try to position myself to be, and see what that feels like. Will I disappear? Will people forget about me?

Every day will be a new opportunity to release the belief that this or that new product will make me more acceptable to others; that the number of readers or "followers" is the only way to define a blog's success; that my self-esteem is based on circumstances outside myself; that the shape of my body determines whether I am lovable or not; that beautiful people are perpetually happy; that rich people are perpetually without worry; that celebrities lead charmed lives; basically, I will attempt to undo all the subliminal and not so subliminal messaging that bombards me daily. 

We're so constantly fed utter bullshit, I certainly being no more immune to it than any other. I sense it will be a colossal undertaking to rip that incessantly growing weed out by the roots but I've reached a point where buying the bullshit is only leading to misery and self-loathing. 

I was watching a segment on Brazil and its growing global economic status on 60 Minutes, and the one thing I remember were the shots of women in bikinis, frolicking on the beach without a care in the world; real women, not those skinny rakes that dominate mainstream media. These ladies had curves, boobs, tummies, asses, and they seemed perfectly happy; not moping around, obsessing about caloric intake, every ounce of joy sucked out of them. 

To me, that's success. Fully loving and accepting yourself, exactly as you are, right now, and frankly, not giving a shit about what anyone else thinks.

Maybe I'll find success in 2011...

How much are you worth? Depends on how much you spend.

Letters from Abimbola Mtakwishayenu, my sponsored child in Africa, installment #6

Dear Venice,

I think I see plant that look like, what you say? pot? But I not sure. I tell my aunt but she get very strange look on her face. So I show her picture you send me. She look confused. So I don't do anything. If I do, my aunt get angry, and that not good. Maybe I explore by myself and not tell anyone. I tell her this will help the family. Then, she will not be angry. What this Cheezie you talk about? You eat whole bag? At once? What is puke? I no understand. You teach me good English. I very grateful. 

Ok, bye.

Abimbola Mtakwishayenu

Deep thoughts by Zack Galifianakis

Letters from Abimbola Mtakwishayenu, my sponsored child in Africa, installment #5

Dear Venice,

Today we learn how to plant vegetable and make garden. I hope the vegetable will not die. It is very dry here and we have little water but I will pray for vegetable to grow. The old white man in fancy clothes say if we pray hard enough, we will have a garden of plenty. I think plenty means lots of vegetable. This would be good. We eat lot of rice but always the same. Generous of people to send food but the same always is not so good. But we grateful for all. Rice better than no food. 

Ok, bye.

Abimbola Mtakwishayenu