Monday, March 15, 2010

Letters to Emily Smith, my sponsored child in Africa, installment #2

Dear Emily,

I am so mad, I could cry. That stupid girl with her stupid face piercings and bad dye job at Starbucks screwed up my order again! I took one sip and had to throw my latté away. I hate it when that happens! Especially when I need my caffeine fix! If I don't have my caffeinated beverage at a certain time every day, I am a complete mess. 

I wish they could hire decent people at Starbucks. I mean, how hard is it? Actually, it would probably be a great job for some of your older relatives if they wanted to move here. You don't need to know much. They'll show you how to work the espresso and cappuccino machine. You just can't steal the money in the till, as tempting as that may be. 

Wow. I should start a business. Finding jobs for poor people from Africa. I think I'd be great at it. And it would make me feel good that I'm helping immigrants adjust to life here. You know, that's just the kind of person I am. I want to help people. 

Crap. Gotta go. Am at another Starbucks. These f*cking immigrants! I said: tall, half-sweet, soy milk, non-fat, low-foam, hint of whip cream, three chocolate sprinkles on my latté! How hard is that?

No comments:

Post a Comment